laughingsquid:

Japanese Barista Makes 3D Latte Art

I feel like such a failure at my job now

“Good food is like music you can taste, color you can smell. There is excellence all around you. You need only be aware to stop and savor it.”

agroned:

“When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had re-sorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.” - Dwight K. Schrute 

They love a good crotch.

“I don’t know about you, but I intend on writing a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this. You’re gonna go on, and make lots of babies, and watch them grow. You’re gonna die an old lady, warm in her bed. Not here, not this night. Do you understand me? Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.”

If I was a guy for a day,

thecolorplaid:

I would:

• Masturbate.
• Hug a girl to see if it’s true that they can feel their boobs.
• Walk around the house naked.
• Pee behind a building.
• Ask someone to kick me in the balls to see how painful some boys say it hurts.
• Yell at girls at the mall saying, “CAN I HOLLA FOR A DOLLA?”
• Stare at my penis. 
• Get a blowjob.

you seem to think that getting a blowjob is easy

it is not

Red Riding Hood (2011)

bitcorn:

just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism